Living hell is drowsiness, after which you pass out and lose consciousness several times day and night, statistically often. Mistaken for sleep, laziness, and poor management, it is diagnosed for apnoea, somnolence, and is essentially a blackout of consciousness, dangerous for falling and driving.
This hell is best coupled with workaholic anxieties in perfectionistic over-performance, a masochistic compulsiveness that troubles dreaming, fitful sleep,
and the recurring imposter's syndrome of a competent feeling utterly incompetent, especially after waking up day and night, submerged in day-one syndrome -
like a mature adult experienced and skilled, feeling like an ignorant newborn, having lost all acquired abilities growing up.
Solutions? Tap beyond the conscious helplessness and mood pits. The know-how is intact, the reflexes and instincts available, just needs gradual warm-up of basic first step, essential next steps, and eventually sophisticated manoeuvres. No need to succumb to mind-killers.
Hope you’re doing OK my friend